Top 3 Challenges in Relationships and How to Overcome Them

Most couples face bumps in the road during their relationship, and its common to have relationship problems. However, if you know ahead of time what those problems are, then you can easily overcome them.

“Successful couples know how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going” . – Marriage and family therapist Mitch Temple

Relationship challenges are part of almost all couple’s lives, and you are mostly likely to face them sooner or later. However some of the relationship challenges are communication problems, arguments, disagreements, dealing with stress, intimacy, infidelity, etc. It doesn’t matter if they are small or big, with proper mindset and knowledge, both of you can be on the road to happiness and healthy relationship.

Here we will discuss the top three relationship issues and how to overcome them. 

Communication 

Communication is the source of connection in romantic relationships, and it allows couples to discuss, share and solve problems effectively. In fact it’s the binding tool for relationships. Also healthy couples communicate openly and directly with greater rapport and congruence. Which allows them to convey a clear and accurate message . Whenever  a problem arrives in a relationship, it can only be solved through effective communication. As we all know that every person has different communication styles. Such as: maybe you are quiet and your partner is talkative. Regardless, relationships thrive on effective and regular communication.

Challenge: 

In some cases when a you as couple face a problem, it’s not uncommon for to stop communicating or to have an edge of confrontation. As a result this can make you are unable to communicate effectively. Even if you communicate, the chances are  that the message will either be misunderstood or misinterpreted.

“You can’t communicate while you’re checking your BlackBerry, watching TV, or flipping through the sports section,” – Elaine Fantle Shimberg.

Effective, honest communication is essential to relationship success.

Solution:

Most couples come to see Relationship Coaches to get help with communication. So that they can communicate openly and effectively. Which can help them to staying connected, aligned and intimate. As well as it allow them to create a space for open conversation.

The most important goal for you as a couple is to improve your communication. Either you are currently facing any issue or not. It will add up to the love, and understanding you have. In fact our lives depend on it.  Still most of us might have forgotten how important it is to our happiness. 

Communication is a two-way street that both of you need to focus on it together. If you want your romantic relationship to work in the long run, then effective communication should be a priority for you. 

To improve communication and emotional connection in your romantic relationship, try focusing on the following:

• Work on identifying where your conversations are breaking down
• Don’t expect your spouse to read your mind
• Be open and honest about your feelings
• Practice being a good listener
• Think before you respond 

Infidelity 

Infidelity define is “the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner.” Generally, its a violation of trust by one or both partners in a romantic relationship. 

Challenge:

Being unfaithful is becoming one of the most common relationship challenges. Which can lead to devastation, personality damage, depression and humiliation. It has been record that infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce and romantic relationship breakdown (Brand, Markey, Mills Hodges, 2007).

If your partner is unfaithful, and cheated on you, you will have to decide for yourself to give them or move on with your life. Such a decision can be hard and will need some time of thinking from you. 

Surviving post affairs will need both of you to work together and  solve underlying issues. No doubt that cheating hurts, and it takes a long time to overcome and heal, but it definitely requires a firm commitment from both partners.

Solution:

Many people rekindle their relationship after the affair. Once they overcome the issues with the help of a relationship coach, they can easily move on to the beautiful chapter of their life. 

To rebuild a relationship after an affair, it needs honestly and willingness to heal the wounds. But to not forget that affair usually happens for some reasons, and it’s worth spending time to understand and learn those lessons. See what causes the trust to break. Most of the time such conversations will be hard to talk about. In such situation you can find a neutral third party to talk to. Such as a trust worth honest friend, or an export in the field of relationship. Who can bring some light into those areas, which are hidden from both of you. 

Finding out about the affair of your partner can trigger strong emotions for both partners, also may be a sense of loss. The partner who is cheated on can feel trauma, betrayal and will overthink the entire affair. And the partner who commits infidelity might feel severe anxiety. It is common in such situations to not think clearly and your mind can easily become foggy. However consider following: 

• Don’t rush to make a decision
• Take time out from each other and allow some space, which will allow your emotions to subtle down and avoid intense discussions
• Seek support, share your feelings with your trusted friend or export. Avoid judgmental people.
• Take your time, don’t overthink by understanding what went wrong, doing without professional support could harm your personality.

Conflict

Conflict can happens in any relationship. it can be due to differences in opinions, values, dreams, desire and perception. We are bound to have conflict at some point of our lives. It can lead to small augments or disagreement  or to more intensely heated arguments. 

Challenge: 

Researchers have found that conflicts in romantic relationships are caused by unmet needs, wants and desires. Which means that one or both partners feel discomfort and try to solve it somehow, and they are unwilling or unable to meet the need. which can cause the argument or resentment. 

The negative effect of conflict is almost known to all of us, it causes a lot of mental pain which can lead a person to withdraw and distance. In some cases it can lead to depression, anxiety or aggression. 

Solution: 

In contrast, people who relate to each other despite the conflict, can easily build trust and confidence in each other. Which can enable them to solve their issues effectively. However, continued disagreement and arguments can be a deeper problem in a relationship, which needs to be addressed. Therefore the role of the Relationship Coach is important to guide them, identify the root of such issues. Also, to assist them in learning new skills to solve the conflict and became stronger couples. 

Healthy debates are important for self expression, however if it turns to hurtful arguments, then it serves no good purpose. Successful relationship have some rules for arguments: 

• Breathing before responding
• Avoid swears or bad words
• No name calling or labelling
• Staying in context.

If you have an urge to say something mean, ask yourself a few questions.

• What am I feeling right now?
• Am I angry 
• Am I sad
• Am I feelings hurt
• Am I frustrated or unhappy about something?

Take regular time to discuss issues before it builds up and becomes the bigger. Express yourself calmly and respectfully (need to achieve this skill? Couple coaching might help). If you are having difficulty controlling your emotions. Also get quickly angry and frustrated towards your partner. Then you can always speak to a an export who deals with relationship challenges. As they say you can’t change anyone else’s behavior, but only yours.