Strong relationships are always based on healthy relationship expectations.
It is common to set expectations in a relationship, however every expectation cannot be healthy and realistic.
In the current media bombardment and easy access to vast information, we can easily pick up, adopt unhealthy habits and expectations. Additionally it makes it hard to differentiate between realistic and unrealistic expectations. On top of that, with lack of self awareness, we can easily come to a place of comparison. And expect some crazy expectations from our self and loved ones.
Also most people jump into relationships without knowing how they should be treated. Although every beginning of the relationship is an opportunity to learn about yourself and your partner. To establish boundaries and understand each other’s expectations. As a human we may look similar, but we all have different foundations which makes us unique and different. Regardless, expecting something from a person which is not their core value of their foundation is an unrealistic expectation.
For us to know what to expect, it’s important we understand the boundaries and capabilities of each other. However there are 3 core values of a love relationship, trust, respect and love. Apart from these, any things we expect from loved ones would be unrealistic expectations.
We will talk more about these 3 values in detail in my next blog. But for now let’s find out how do you set healthy expectations? What should partners expect from each other? Where do you draw the line between idealistic and reasonable expectations in a relationship? These quests can be hard to answer by yourself. But don’t worry we have all the answers for you. We will tell you how to set healthy relationship expectations. Free consultation with Relationship Coach Shakila Khattak a trained Life coach and Therapist who specializes in online coaching. The process of setting expectations in a relationship always begins with yourself.
Before you set expectations it’s absolutely important to take the time to reflect. To know what works and what’s not working for both of you. Also understand what do you need in a relationship, don’t make it subjective. Such is focus on the importance of trust, respect and love in romantic relationships. Without thinking about these things in the context of your partner.
Here are the 8 tips to set healthy expectation in relationship
1. Appreciate Each Other Instead Expecting
Lots of people expect from their partners without letting them know. And expect their partner should know magically without them communicating those expectations. These types of relationships can easily fall into a negative focus pattern.
Healthy relationships are based on positive thinking. Instead of focusing on the negative, switch your focus to the positive qualities of your partner. Maybe you don’t like the way they do certain things or chore around the home. Such as it may be the way they fold the laundry, Now Instead focusing on the negative, be appreciative of the effort they put to help.
If you pay attention, there’s always something to appreciate in your partner. Ask yourself this question in such situation: What was it that attracted you to them in the first place? It wasn’t their towel-folding abilities, but It was their warmth, kindness and love.
“Turn your expectations into appreciation and your whole life will change.” – Tony Robbins
Habit of appreciation can put an end to your unhealthy expectations in a relationship.
2. Be Compassionate
The core value of every relationship should be based on compassion. So show compassion by prioritizing your partner over your expectations.
Compassion and love is at the top of the list of what to expect in a relationship. And remember, at the end of the day your partner is important in a relationship, it’s not crazy expectations or standards. If you demonstrate compassion and love in your relationship, it will lead to mutual understanding. Therefore understanding is the building block of a healthy relationship.
3. Show Respect
Almost all relationships are built on respect. Therefore, to respect someone means to value their perspective, their unique view of life.
To show respect for your partner, don’t correct them! Instead, seek a playful, empathetic way to redirect an argument or disagreement. From there on, you’re able to find solutions without creating unnecessary tension.
4. Make Time For Your Partner
Giving quality time to your partner is one of the reasonable expectations you can have in a relationship. Make your partnership a priority – take the time to reinforce your connection in hard times. When you give time to each other, and you make it a ritual. It makes your partnership stronger, and your connection is unbreakable. So, shows that a relationship is the top priority for both of you.
5. Do Not Doubt Your Relationship
Sometimes in a relationship, you might question the intention of your partner, or you question the very nature of your relationship. Without understanding their perspective and intentions. And this is one of the worst things which can easily damage your relationship.
In such a situation remind yourself of the very first thing which made you fall in love with your partner. Just because you’re having issues doesn’t mean the relationship itself is a problem.
6. Break The Cycle
Once you notice repetitive disagreements and arguments in your relationship, this is the time to change the approach. If you don’t change it, you will get into a vicious loop where neither of you will be heard, and both of you will be defeated.
Take a moment to rethink what the actual argument is about, what is the severity of the problem and what both of you are trying to get out of that. Think beyond the barriers both of you are facing. When you make a habit of rethinking such situations, Then you will set high standards and boundaries for what to expect in a relationship.
7. Do Not Threaten Your Relationship
The most essential expectation in a relationship is that there will be give and take mutually. In such a commitment, threatening your relationship will not help you. Rather, the only thing can happen is you closing the door of fair communication for your partner. If you’re at the point of threatening your partnership, it’s time to take a break and rethink the whole situation which leads you to this decision.
8. Stop Comparison
Nowadays comparison in relationships is typical. Most of the people do it without realizing how damaging it is for the whole health of the relationship. It is another way of ignoring the unique personality and needs of your partner. Rather putting them in a box, without valuing what makes your partnership unique and special. Don’t adopt other couples’ standards and expectations in a relationship. Simply work with your partner to develop your own healthy relationship expectations.
Maintaining healthy relationship expectations takes continuous work. Just master how to manage expectations in a relationship. Book a Free consultation with Shakila Khattak Relationship Program. Learning how to manage expectations in a relationship is not a one-time deal. It’s a continuous conversation where you’re touching base to see whether each other’s needs are being met.
Don’t settle for stagnation, assuming your relationship is doing fine because you haven’t argued that day. When you commit to never-ending improvement, you’re able to build an extraordinary relationship.